have the right to experience your own unique grief.
No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you
do. Don't allow others to tell you what you should or
should not be feeling.
have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about
your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will
allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you
want, about your grief.
have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion,
disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few
of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief
journey. know that there is no such thing as a "wrong"
emotion. Accept all your feelings and find listeners
who will do the same.
have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional
limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably
leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and
mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals.
And don't allow others to push you into things you don't
feel ready to do.
have the right to experience grief "attacks."
Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief
may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal
and natural. Find someone who understands and will let
you talk it out.
have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual
provides you with the support of caring people. More
important, it supportively sees you off on your painful
but necessary grief journey. later rituals such as lighting
a candle for the person who died, can also be healing
touchstones. If others tell you that rituals such as
these are silly or unnecessary, don't listen.
have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith
is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem
appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people
who understand and support your religious beliefs. If
you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who
won't be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself
asking "Why did he or she die? Why this way? why
now?" some of your questions may have answers,
but some may not. And watch out for the clinched responses
some people may give you. Comments like, "It was
God's will" or "Think what you have to be
thankful for" are not helpful, and you do not have
to accept them.
have the right to treasure your memories. memories are
one of the best legacies that exist after the death
of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead
of ignoring your memories, find creative ways to embrace
them. Write them down.
have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling
your grief will not happen quickly. Remember grief is
a process not an event. Be patient and tolerant with
yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant
with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget
the death of someone loved changes your life forever.